The five continued

Ok here it goes:

The five types of parties you will have for one occasion.

1. The main party for the event. This is usually done at a fancy hotel. It starts at about 6/7pm. Dress code is often business casual. Or formal. There's speeches or even games to get people talking and entertained. You take a group picture. You act like proper decent people, pick at the copious amounts of expensive buffet food and laugh decently. The alcohol begins to loosen you up.

2. The main party's second party is at karaoke or an Izakaya. It's still the same night, maybe at about 10pm you move from the main party, some people decide to go home.  It's now time to get really drunk and rowdy. It's said that if you have a bone to pick with someone this is the perfect time to do it because come Monday morning everybody's gonna pretend it never happened. Also, if you have your eye on someone, nows the time to talk. Sing your heart out and drink and be merry! Nobody will judge you. ( within reason ofcourse) I find it odd that some people still find it necessary to order food at this time... After we just had a buffet...

3. The departmental party. Exactly like number one only it's at a fancy restaurant instead of a hotel and depending on where you are you may dress casually.

4. The women's party. Exactly like number one only with just women.

4. The women's party's second party. Exactly like number two but only women. This is a nice way to get to know your coworkers on a more personal level. Ask them about their babies. Exchange beauty secrets and nappy changing techniques. Gossip about husbands. Support each other. Or so I heard... I've never been there.
No honestly when I asked about the womens parties they said it was a support group for expressing female issues that men don't understand, including raising children and balancing work with family.  I have no idea why this needs a party but that's because I come from a culture where we just talk and are sometimes in each others business too much.

If you're a teacher and you have more than one school, you might have to do this for all of your schools and yes, some are compulsory. Well, nobody's gonna tell you that directly. They're just gonna tell you that it's good for work relations. That means you have to go.

The five questions everybody will ask you when you meet them for the first time:

1. Can you speak Japanese?

2. Why did you come to Okinawa/ Japan? Often followed by Do you like it here?

3. Do you like Okinawan/ Japanese  food? Often followed by What do you like?

Now, this is one question that EVERYBODY will ask you, without fail so have an answer prepared. I'd like to admit here that I don't like most of the food I've been exposed too mainly because its all fried and I'm not a fan of starchy , sweet food (except for flour products, my weakness). But I heard its insulting to say you don't like the food here so I often nod and agree and then dread the follow up question because I have to pick a random dish. It's especially painful if the person won't let it go and keeps asking me to name more foods...

4. Did you come alone or with your family?

5. How long will you stay here? OR How long have you been here? Sometimes I can't tell which one a person is asking because they're speaking in Japanese and I have limited Japanese listening skills or they're speaking in very broken English it's hard to tell. So I answer both.

Those are expected questions. Then you get these:

1. How old are you? (24 is very young here)

2. Can you cook? Do you cook everyday? What do you cook?! This question often comes up when we talk about the foods I like which is a nice relief for me because then I can explain that the reason I haven't been exposed to so many local foods is because I cook everyday!(lies)
Then I explain how I mimic Japanese food with my own spicy, unfried twist. People find it impressive. Score!

3. Do you live alone? Or where do you live? Now I don't know how normal these questions are but I try to be careful because well...its weird and potentially dangerous. Yes I live alone but with people around me all the time and then I name a random area around where I live.

4. Do you have a boyfriend?

5. Do you find Okinawan/ Japanese men attractive?  (Whichever way I answer this is bound to get me in trouble with somebody so I answer " Some" and hope that they don't pry further, which noone has yet.)

The five most annoying  things people say to me and the responses I don't say (to be polite and understanding):

1. I have a friend in Sierra Leone.

That's nice. I have a friend in the Phillipines.

2. You must teach me Spanish!

Really? Say it with me. South Afriiiiiiicaaaaaaa!

3. Africa! Wow! So you speak French and Swahili!!!!

Da fuq?!

4. So which country in South Africa do you live in?
Egypt.

5. So where in America are you from?
I' m not American.
Really, you're from the U.K?
No.
Oh! Carribean?
No.
Omg, are you Philipino?
(Really? ) No.
Erm...
I' m African.
Sugoi!!!!

Because nobody expects the product to come straight from the factory. Does the factory even exist?

At least I'm doing my bit for cultural interchange.

The five most insulting things people have said to me:

1. I have friends in New Zealand who used to live in South Africa. Can I take a picture of you and send it to them? Maybe they know you. 

Dear Sarah Baartman. I understand and I'm sorry. Our turn will come . Soon.

( I  looked  at the woman suspicously and basically hissed:"Why?" She left me alone after that. )

Now what happened above is more than just a simple question. For those that don't know South African history, long story short, a lot of white South Africans moved to New Zealand and Australia after apartheid because... And Sarah Baartman was... Oh heck look it up.

2. Howcome you speak English so well? 
Erm... I'm not sure how to answer that. Should we start with South African history...

3. Howcome you don't have an African accent?
What does an "African" accent sound like? I do. It's a South African accent.

4. You don't have to sign this, it's for the teachers.
I'm a teacher.
No I meant the Japanese teachers.
Oh, so the Chinese teacher doesn't have to sign it either?
Oh, no she has to sign it.
Oh, I thought you said it's only for Japanese teachers.
Yes but she's a real teacher.

(The life of an ALT, because we come all the way from our countries to pretend.)

5. How do you wash your hair?
Nicely with shampoo and water.

Ok so there will be only one more post on fives. Thank you for reading and please leave a comment!