About three years ago I fell out of love with my part time job and was looking for something full time and permanent. At that time I lived in Johannesburg and with a college degree I was hopeful that whatever I got wouldn't be too bad. So I applied everywhere I could and as usual got no responses and months went by and I grew increasingly frustrated. One day chilling at home I get a call for an interview. I managed to get off work early and navigate myself through Johannesburg taxis and got there.
First of all the building was scary and dark. When I eventually located their offices, it was not impressive. There was barely any furniture in the building. The carpet was old and dirty. Marketing? They sure as he'll don't know how to market their own company. The lady behind the desk made me sit down. I waited. More people came, we waited. She disappeared. It was eery and quiet in there, like nobody was actually there. An hour went past. We waited. I don't know about the others but I was desparate. She came back and took our names. We were waiting for interviews. She took our names and asked us individually which days we would be able to come for training. I asked her what we were actually going to market. She said I would see at training. Wednesday was my training interview. This was weird for me. What's the secret? I was just supposed to dress formal and be there at 7 am and be prepared for a competitive, on site training interview. Strange much? I was desparate. I agreed I had to call around and beg somebody to take my shift.
My sister had to get through nightmarish Johannesburg traffic to get to Sandton each morning we left the house no later than 5.50 am everyday. That day she was driving me to Randburg first for the interview so we must've left at around 5am. Nevertheless after looking for the place, I was there on time. And waited.
This time I saw people in black and purple clothes wander into the building. All very formal. Trying to speak to anyone was such a hassle, people seemed busy, or late. Girls running around in shabby rundown heels. I kept asking people what on earth this company does and nobody wanted to tell me. What had taken me aback at this point is that as I was standing outside the building waiting to be let in, I heard chanting coming from the second floor. People getting hyped up and chanting things I couldn't quite decipher. That's when my real discomfort began. I was thinking wtf? Am I being duped into some kind of cult? Are these normal working conditions? Why won't they tell me what this place is and what we're doing here? Is this body trafficking? That first office looked so makeshift, it's possible they just recently moved in anyway!
At about 8am, we were called inside. Half the chanting members in purple and black had vanished. The on-site-training interviewees were made to sit again and wait. We were told that now the big boss will give us a group interview and from us, pick the best candidates to go on site. This was the first time I took this company seriously.
Amongst us were people from various backgrounds, old and young. I think I was the youngest. None of us knew what the job was about. All of us were desparate.
The so called esteemed big boss walked in with a shiny silver suit on. You know, the type you get downtown at the Indian shops, notorious for selling fong-kong. I wasn't impressed but I kept my mouth shut. He was young. No older than 25. Who were these people kidding?
They called us into another makeshift office. A bigger one this time with second-hand furniture. Nothing but that dirty old grey carpet again, a huge round table with chairs. Dust on the window sills. They obviously couldn't afford a domestic nor did they bother cleaning themselves. Did they just move in yesterday? If you think I'm a turd for pointing these things out you will soon understand why.
To cut this section short, he asked us why we deserved the marketing job we knew nothing about and we went on to individually protest for ourselves, stating our skills and experiences and credentials. Amongst us were several graduates and people who had done marketing before.
Then he left and we waited again. Someone else called out names and the rest had to leave. I was in. Sigh of relief. We were given trainers. Suddenly there was a rush again. We had to get to site before 10am.
I don't remember my trainers name. She was a very energetic girl that wanted to know everything about me. I was naturally uncomfortable about this, for obvious reasons. I thought she was driving us there. I thought we were all going to the same place. I thought we were a group. I thought wrong. Where was our site? Johannesburg CBD. Nice building for marketing people? Absolutely not. Where are we going miss trainer? You'll see when we get there. By now I'm getting apprehensive. But I know my way around Joburg. She doesn't give me stranger dander feelings, she seems like a regular girl. I could lose her in seconds if I wanted to. Let's go.
There was another team with us. Public transport in JHB CBD is Satans anus. She payed for me In the taxi. I was trying to explain that I can handle it and she told me it's company policy. I didn't argue. I asked, if the company payed for our transport howcome we didn't find a better way to get to Jozi? She says oh no. The company isn't paying for it, it's her money. She insists because I will be required to do the same for my trainees when I'm a trainer. This makes me extremely uncomfortable. You think that's bad? She says she has to buy me lunch too and off we go to Shoprite. Now I might not be the healthiest person around but there's certainly some things that I just don't consider food, nevertheless lunch. I tell her I have sandwiches. She insists and buys cream-buns. That's all she can afford. By now, I've given up arguing with her. The other girl gets a vetkoek and chips. Inside I am disapproving, but it's none of my business.
30 minute walk through crowded Jozi CBD, ducking vendors and rude men on the street, bumping shoulders with commuters and being hollered at by guys with nothing to do. We are dressed in business attire after all. Formal with heels, trodding through dirty streets in a rush. I started understanding why these girls have such rundown heels. I want to quit NOW. I could take a short-left and get a taxi home. This is ridiculous. But I've played along so far, I need to find out what the job is now. I need to find out where the site is!
We get to the site. She says, we're here. I ask, here? She says yes? But where? Inside.
We are at Woolworths on Market road.
I sigh in relief. At least it's Woolworths. Let's do this!
Little did I know.
We get to the office, put our things down, have tea and go downstairs to the clothing section. People are glaring at us. I'm wondering why. She asks me if I'm ready and she says she will demonstrate first and then explain.
Gawd dang it! She's promoting a credit card! Stopping shoppers and trying to dupe them into signing up and earning commission for each person she gets. Why all the frikkin mystery? !
I was absolutely and utterly pissed. Kept calm. She explained the process, how to do it, all the benefits. I was desparate. I listened. I was polite.
She made me do all this paperwork for training and then asked me if I still want the job. I wasn't sure. It was almost lunchtime and I was ready to go home. I hung on. I was desparate. Lunch came and went and so did the cream buns. I had my sandwiches.
I asked when we would leave. She told me just a little while longer. A little while turned into hours.
I needed to know if I was getting the job or not. She told me that I had to see the big boss again and he had to approve me before I started. I felt more like she was marketing the job to me than actually interviewing me for a marketing job. I needed to know how much this job payed. At 4 o clock I said I was going home. I had had enough. She, persuasive as she was asked me to hold on a little longer because she knew I would get the job and that it payed well. Looking at her I wasn't too convinced but I decided that I would see it through. My sister was going to leave work late so it worked out. 5 o clock we knocked off and it felt like I was employed already.
An hour long bus ride in traffic led us back to the office. It's past 6 o clock and the boss is apparently too busy to see me. One of the managers will be interviewing me in his place. More waiting. I'm thinking, I have food at home and maybe I should just start kissing my boss' anus at my current part-time job and it won't be so bad. I'm thinking, maybe I'm just ungreatful. Why am I here? 6.30pm my sister calls me and I tell her I still have to see big boss. This girl here and her colleague are busy trying to hype me up so I can stay. They're telling me how rich the boss is with his mansions and Mercedes and I am just not buying it. They're telling me about the managers and how easily it is to get promoted in this company. They're telling me how hopeful they are are of getting promoted and making better money. They're pointing at people saying this one here started working here three months ago and already he's been promoted twice and last week he just bought a car. I'm starting to think maybe I'm materialistic but I just don't see it. How is boss and his shiny suit so rich? How is it that with that much money he doesn't think to get it tailored to fit him properly so that it doesn't look just as second hand as everything in this building? How is this company so lucrative and looking like this? Are they stupid or am I arrogant?
All this time people have started chanting in some room again. I ask what it's about. They said its to motivate themselves and build team spirit. Every morning before they go into the field and when they return they do it. Weeeeird! On well, whatever works for them.
Training lady goes in to speak to boss man and give him a report about me. She comes out at 7 o'clock saying I didn't get the job but she pleaded with him so he's giving me another chance and I will be interviewed by one of the managers. Now I'm ready to retort.
In managers office I start flinging questions at him which he cannot respond to. He looks at me and tells me that I don't want this job. I ask him, how much is the job worth! He tells me it's commission based. If I was white I would've been blood red in the face. I'm gonna get payed only if I sell and only for the amount I sell. Here I thought the commission was an incentive. After all this bullshit!
I didn't call it. I just asked him if this was a pyramid scheme to which he denied utterly. After much faffing about he asked me not to tell anyone about the job. I agreed. He employed me and I smiled and said I was happy to join the company. Shook his hand. I would report at 7am next morning. My turn to play bullshit.
7.30pm, I get into my sisters car. By the time we got near home she was raging mad! We got ice- cream.
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