My pieces of Peace

How can I explain the serenity of sitting in the approaching dusk next to a river, across from a world heritage site. Not afraid of harassment, not worried about getting mugged or raped or killed. Just hanging out with my own thoughts as company, contemplating these victims and a grander story behind them that involves me too. The pieces start to come together. My own narrative unfolds before me. Why am I here? To be remade. To have my faith, emotions and beliefs torn down and reconstructed. Much like these two cities, Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I've seen my devastation and now it's time to build. 

Mdwabashu WaseLangeni

This next blog is about my brother , Philani Siphesihle Ngcobo, who has been missing since 2007.  It is a poem tribute to him in Zulu.I've written about him before and I probably wont stop here until I know where he is or what happened to him. My  soul will never rest until he is at peace.

My first born brothers' name is of great significance to me and the family. He carries the family title as well as the praise names as the heir and first born. His name, Philani, is a blessing meaning "live" or "prosper in health/life". His middle name, Siphesihle is a derivative of my fathers name (Sipho) which means "gift". It literally translates " wonderful/beautiful gift.

I view his naming as a word birthing blessing into the family that begun by him being the first child of my parents. They moved from being a married couple into a family with his birth. Thus his naming was significant and he carries my fathers name in him. It shows my parents and grandparents wishes towards our family. Hence his disappearance was and still is shocking and ill serving to the balance of the family whole.

Fuze
Mashiya amahle
Mdwabashu waseLangeni
Mshizi wezindlu
Mahlokohloko adla insimu ayicakaze
Mapholoba
Sipho esihle sikaMama
asiphiwa nguBaba
Ndlalifa

Ziyofika izesheli zami zivinjwe ngubani na?
Bayofika abakhongi bami bamukelwe ngubani na?
Zinkomo zikababa ziyokweluswa ubani na?
Siyophila kanjani uPhilani engekho na?
Ibizo lakho elasamukela selihlushuliwe phakathi egcekeni lakwaNgcobo
ugcobo lesuliwe phakathi kwethu

kanti kwakhala nyonini lapha ekhaya?

Ihlokohloko selathula

Ngilangazelela izwi lakho Zibulo
Ziyokhuluma izinsizwa soze ngizwe
Kuyothi mhla kungena izitha zizoqothula siyothi
Liphi elihle kakhulu?

Ngephuzile
Izitha sezafika kakade
isakhiwo sendlu kaBaba singaphelele sacekelwa phansi
silele ngikomzwelo
silele ngokomoya
sinqika nqikaza kushoda isisekelo
umphini wokuqala omkhulukazi onamandla
ungekho


Mdwabashu
Siyokwanda ngani na?
Siyofunga bani?
Ngimanxebanxeba angipholi
Umphefumulo wami uyopha