Sometimes I think about it, that I surrendered kisses and warm embraces and decent conversation for a while just so I can get this independence and adventure and I wonder if its worth it.
And independence I am getting. In doing things for myself that I never knew I would do before Things I never thought Id have the need to do and just things Id never quite considered just because I was ignorant of it. Especially since there was always someone around that I trusted that I could consult. I know nothing about cars, In not even really interested.
Before I thought, if I get a car I have my dad to take care of it when it needs fixing. If I have problems, he knows what to do and if not him, my brother should figure it out or my cousin or boyfriend. I'd ask SOMEBODY. Out here I have no men in my life or anyone with a clue about these things. I have no clue. I go to the garage and I trust the guy working there. I tell him to check the car and my life is in his hands from there on. I pay whatever he tells me. I ask no questions because I don't know anything.
So I guess its not just kisses I surrendered but emotional comfort and security and to a certain extent, love. I miss the men in my life!
I cant imagine what single parents do with so many decisions to make on their own, and just having to make things happen!
Because children aren't like cars where you have insurance in case you break it or you can buy another one if this one crashes. Its one shot, one life and you're it.
